r2roswell

I love my weekend job.  Reason: I get to take the boat out on whale watching tours.  We had a great Saturday.

(taken from the whale report on the web):
June 23rd: The Island Explorer 3 found J-Pod foraging just south of False Bay.The Orca Whales were spread out over about one mile and were moving north. They changed direction and started heading south and we got some really nice looks at Blossom, J11. We also saw Ruffles, J1, further out and got the best looks at Samish with her offspring Riptide, Hy'shqa, and Suttles. Suttles was very playful with lots of tail-lobs and 2 great breaches!!  We also got to see Harbor Seals, Harbor Porpoises, Rhinocerous Auklets, Pigeon Guillemots, Cormorants, and Bull Kelp! 

I had a kid on Saturday- he must have been about 7 years old.  He was on a trip with his two older brothers.  He told me his whole story: After seeing the killer whales at Sea World in San Antonio about a year ago, he said his dream would be complete if he got to see them in the actual wild.  His two brothers are both in law school and making good money so with their parents permission, they finally gave that dream to their little brother.

I had the speakers on loud enough to where the tourists could hear the orcas making their clicks and squeaks.  I was at the controls when the kid came inside.  He wanted to see what it was like and we got to talking.  He just stood there quietly, listening to the sound of the orcas and that was when he asked me in the cutest, most innocent voice, "What do you think they are saying?"

I just smiled at him.  I didn't tell him what I thought.  I told him what I knew.  I told him that Ruffles was thinking of how great it is to be in the water and that he wouldn't want to be any place else.  I told him that some of the young ones were laughing it up and having a great time.  I told him that the orca, Suttles, wanted to give the boats something fun to see and so he did his breaches and had one heck of a time doing them.  The kid just looked at me and smiled and said, "Yeah that sounds cool.  I want to believe that too."  I smiled back at him.

I absolutely love my ability: To hear what animals are saying and thinking is just the best gift I could ask for.  The look on the boy's face was just priceless.  Definately a moment to keep in my mind.  To them what I say are just fun make believe stories but I know better.  I've had adults come up and ask me the same question and I simply tell them.  A lot of them are impressed by my "imagination".  Not only can I use my ability without any harm but at the same time I am giving people stories to take home with them.  Could my life on this end be any greater?

Current Mood: ecstatic

I'm sure a lot of you out there have all ready heard the news.  As I was out of town, I just recently found out about it.  I can't believe it! 

Current Mood: enraged

I was able to transcribe Jordan Collier's message that was posted all over the web last weekend.  I thought I would post it here to remind myself (and others) that this is a war worth fighting for.  There may be legislation laws passed but we will not allow that to stop us.  The world that Collier had seen has all ready been prevented just by Collier issuing out Promicin.  Now it is our jobs to make sure that we continue on a different path.  A path not to distruction and despair but a path to something greater.  We must take the "road less traveled by" so that hopefully it can make a difference.

Without further delay, here is Collier's message:

"We all had a scare today.  We'll have others before we're done.  We, we're walking a difficult and dangerous path but we're walking it together.  Whether you've chosen to join me or not, we're all- every one of us, making history now.

The time for sitting on the fence is over.  The time for greatness is now.  Each of you has a role to play.  Your only choice is whether to accept it or have it thrust upon you.

Promicin is out there.  People are gaining abilities and nothing can be done about that.  The genie will not go back into the bottle.

I know it's tempting to think we can hold onto the past, to everything that's safe and easy, but we cannot.

Unsafe and easy are what set us on the path to catastrophe in the first place.  The chains of comfort are what keep us from reaching for a better world.

This new era: it's not coming, it's not on the way.  It's here.  And we are now seperated from our old lives by a gulf that can never again be reached.

So all of you out there need to ask yourself one thing: Are you ready?"-Jordan Collier

Current Mood: determined

(written on 6/20/07)

I talked to Kai yesterday.  It was so good to hear his voice.  I've only been gone for two days but I miss him like crazy.  He's been pretty busy- going to school, working a part time job, and taking care of all four pets.  I hated to have to leave him with that responsibility but he says he doesn't mind it.  He jokes that as long as the dogs are there with him, that I will have reason to come back.

I read the note that Abe slipped in my pocket the day I went to go visit him (or rather question him as is my job).  It was a code, one which we used for the past six years- one which no one could ever decipher.

The code read this:




I cannot tell you what I found because it would not be safe.  I don't know which government agents could be watching this blog.  I can tell you that what I found will benefit a lot of people.  It will help to spread Jordan Collier's message.  And with so many being silenced, I have to do the right thing both as an NTAC Agent and as a Promicin Positive.

Current Mood: determined

(written 6/20/07)

I have two main responsibilites in my life:

-Responsibility to NTAC
-Responsibility to the 4400 and Promicin Positives/takers

While I have set down some roots, I have not forgotten my mission to the latter.  

My work partner was able to find out that Abe and I were buddies.  He went back to the Eliot house to see if there was anything he could find and sure enough he found our old school year books.  For a second I was afraid that he would turn me in since he now figured out that I was trying to help Abe escape (I dared not use my mind reading ability as a way of letting him keep his privacy.)  Instead he did the complete opposite.  He erased all of my photos from Abe's year books.  He told me that once we got back he would erase Abe from all of mine.

"So how do you plan to get him out?" Roy asked.

*UPDATE*: I can now tell you that Abe Eliot is safely out of prison and out of town.  We had to risk giving him Promicin so he could continue using his ability but at least it's better than taking the inhibitor.  And at least now he can continue doing as much good in this world as he can should he happen to get caught again.  And then next agents who handle his case might not be Promicin Positives.

Will Roy and I get in trouble for what we have done?  Possibly.  Maybe it will be back to desk duty but it was worth saving one of our own.  Even Roy admits that it felt good to put his ability to some use for the greater good!  And now he has made a vow to help the Promicin Positives as well.  If not for him then for his brother so his death can serve a purpose.

Current Mood: accomplished

(written on 6/19/07)

Let me give you a brief history on Eliot:  He and I go way back.  We met in middle school out of a common interest.  We were in the same biology class and I had the book "Star Wars II: Attack of the Clones" on my desk.  We got to talking and after that our lives were inseprable up until the time we graduated from the same high school.  A lot of the best memories we had were spent at something Star Wars related: Fan Force meetings, Prequel Premiere festivals, opening day for Revenge of the Sith, and even a Star Wars celebration in California.  We were always there for each other no matter what.

And now the world has changed.  It has become darker than it once was now that legislation has been passed for Promicin and Promicin abilities to be illegal.  Eliot and I communicate whenver we can but it has become less frequent than it once was.  I miss it at times but unfortunately we have to sacrifice some things if it means protecting this world.  Right now it's too dangerous to protect this world if all 4400s and Promicin positives come together- so for now we have to protect this world individually and without getting caught.

Now I am back home to my original roots and my friend and my brother has become one of the unlucky ones to have gotten caught.

I just hope that there is some way I can get him out of this mess without exposing my ability.  That I am not ready for quite yet.

Current Mood: curious

(written 6/19/07)

What you need to know about my partner, Aaron Roy: He's 20 yrs. old and has been an agent at NTAC for one year.  As his father works for the military, Roy did not have to go to college but instead was able to go straight into training.  He had a brother who was seventeen but died from unfortunate circumstances.

We were in our hotel when I brought up the subject again.

"If the 4400 and Promicin positives make you angry, why do you do this job?"

"Milano, drop it.  I told you I wouldn't do this."

"It's because of your brother, Roger isn't it?  You feel guilty about what happened to him."

"What do you know?!  Did you read my NTAC file?"

"No."

"Then how?  No one at NTAC knows about him."

"The 'how' isn't important right now.  What's important is the anger you're carrying within you.  The reason you try to hate the 4400 and Promicin takers is because you have a Promicin secret of your own, don't you?"

Roy stayed quiet for a long time.  

"My father was a military man- always strict.  He always instilled in us the military rules and made it an order that we find some way of going to West Point.  Roger and I didn't want it.  We wanted to do some actual good in the world, something that didn't involve the military."

I continued for him, "So when Collier introduced Promicin to the world you saw your chance."

"Yeah.  We both knew the risks and as a precaution we wrote letters to family.  When Roger died, I just hated myself for it.  I would give anything to go back.  He died back in September but not a day goes by when I'm not angry and when I wish it would have been me instead.  You have no idead what it feels like."

"Yes I do," I replied.

"You've lost someone to Promicin?"

"Yeah, I lost a friend from taking a shot and then I lost my family to an Anti."

"So what did you do?"

"I decided to not let my anger control me.  I decided to join the movement and instead of going to college I took a road trip to help the 4400 and Promicin + while at the same time taking Promicin myself.  As well  as trying to do that mission while working for NTAC.  Someone has to help them understand no matter what the cost."

"So what ability do you have?"

"I can read the minds of animals and provide them with what they need.  What's yours?"

"I'm able to erase things from a person's memory or erase things on paper with the flick of a hand movement."

"That's very useful."

"It can be I guess.  I don't like using it much because of what happened to Roger."

"Mind if I give you some advice?" 

Roy shook his head and I told him, "It's not your fault he died.  He did know the risks and he was ready for it.  I think your brother would want you to continue on with the plan you both hand in mind: do some actual good in the world.  DOn't use that guilt and anger for the side of vengence.  Instead use it as fuel for the good side.  Roger would want you to accept who you are and not run away from it."

Current Mood: okay

(Written on: 6/18/07)

Thank goodness for flying- we were able to arrive back in my home town in half the time.My boss and partner didn't tell me much about the case, just that a Promicin Positive had been taken into custody for undisclosed reasons and that we were to head out there ourselves and investigate it.

Instead of going to see the suspect right away, we went to his house since we had a search warrent and it was then that I knew who the suspect was: Abram Eliot. A guy who I had gone to both middle school and high school.

My partner, Aaron Roy (I won't disclose his true name), began walking towards the house and it was then that he saw me frozen in place.

"Milano, wake up, let's go." he said to me.

"Right," I replied.

The second I walked into the house, a flood of memories flashed in front of my mind: Abram's house was the place to be. We would constantly study in the living room and when we were finished we'd head upstairs to his room and play video games. Even when we did not have to study, we would always find reasons to hang. It was always the three of us: Abram, myself and our other friend, Eliaz X. Maer. for six years. And then come graduation we would each go our seperate ways.

Current Mood: surprised

My first week on the job at NTAC went smoothly I suppose.  All I did was paper work so that got a little dull after a while but I'll do whatever scut work they ask of me since I didn't get here like a lot of the agents normally do.

Yesterday I was given my first off base assignment.  I will be heading back to my home town for this case.  I wish I could say more but the case is a sensitive one and so they have pleaded with me to not disclose anything just yet.  Not until the report is complete.  It will be a week long assignment which is why the case is sensitive.

I will be working with a partner I've never met before so I can only hope that goes well.  You know how it is- if it's a bad partnership then it's less likely to uncover that trust factor- without trust you end up second guessing each other all of the time.

I have talked to Kai about it and he said that he will miss me but that he will be okay (I can only hope so).  Kai said that he was able to get a job that works in prostetics which is great and he will also be going to school at nights.

Our lives our getting so complicated, we rarely see each other.  We will have some time together this weekend despite that I am going to be the captain of a tour this weekend but Kai will be coming along.  I don't know if that constitutes as "us" time but unfortunately it's the best we can do at the moment.  Hopefully sometime things will lighten up and we will be happy again.  I think it was much better being on the road sometimes because we were doing our jobs but at the same time we had each other.  And now with everything that's been going on, it's tearing us apart and in different directions.  I miss him.  And I know he really misses me.  We live together but our lives our not in sync as they once were.  I miss that.

Current Mood: lonely
Current Music: "Under the Elm"- Jacqueline McKenzie

Today during my lunch hour at NTAC, I took the liberty of applying for a second job.  I enjoy my job at NTAC and the money is good but with a family of four pets and Kai unemployed, I thought it would be best if I find a second job.  Kai has been looking around but at the same time he is looking for something that pays above minimum wage.  Although he is considering looking into going to college so we'll see how those plans go.

As for the new job, I applied for a Captain's position at one of the most well known Boating Tours.  (the location must remain classified).  I got a call back around 6 this evenining and they said they were more than happy to accept me.  I went there a short while later to meet with the members and they did the short interview and all of that other good stuff.  For now it will be a weekend job which is good enough for me since I get paid more than the minimum wage for just two days in a seven day period.

There is one minor thing though.  They like their workers to have some kind of biology background and since my background only ranges from a special high school that focuses in the human medical school, I will be required to go to one of the local schools they have here and major in biology.  They said that with my intellegent capabilities I should be able to learn everything within a year or two instead of the recommended four years.  I will still get to be a Captain but I have to go to school as well.  Those details have all been worked out.  The plus side, is that the company is willing to pay for my schooling so it saves me quite a lot.

I am really happy about this job.  It's something I've been wanting to do since I was five years old when I first saw those "Free Willy" movies.  I knew that all I ever wanted to do was take a boat out some where in the oceans and watch orca whales, learn about them and study about them and even teach others about them.  I'm happy my childhood dreams are getting the chance to come true.

Current Mood: excited

It's been a while since I've used my abilities.  I know that I should be practicing and working on it but it's hard to do.  Not only did the legislation pass the ban of promicin but they have also included the no use of promicin induced abilities.  How wrongful is that?  I feel that now without the use of my ability, that I am only half a person.  I don't feel whole.

Lucky enough, people don't have an issue with me wearing the black glove.  If anyone asks, I just tell them that I was attacked by a black bear last Friday (June 8th) while on a camping trip.  If they ask to the scar, I take off my glove and there it is: 4 slash marks from a bear's paw- deep wounds but still healing.  I could not go to the hospital for fear that if they ran blood tests then it would show the Promicin in my system.  So instead, with some medical knowledge behind me, I was able to patch it all up as best as I could.  The wound gives me a good excuse for wearing the glove.  I guess that bear really did me a favor.

Sometimes it's still hard to believe that the legislation was passed, but what can we do?  I have no solution and considering the job I have, it would be unjust to risk it.  While I am a middle ground for NTAC and the 4400/Promicin takers, I have not been on the job long enough to find some kind of method that can put everyone on equal footing.

I have been able to use my ability on some aspects but the most obvious part of my ability has to not be used at all

I just hope that some day all of this can be overcome.  But right now that's probably asking too much. Some day though, some day.

Current Mood: annoyed

Today was my first day at the National Threat Assessment Command.  It was a fairly day I suppose.  I was shown around the facility and then most of my time was spent in either the hypothesis room or doing loads of paper work.

The paper work wasn't half bad though.  There were some case files on some 4400 and some Promicin + which I was able to use to my advantage.  

I might be able to do some good around here after all 

Current Mood: working

I came home this morning from my retreat.  My three hounds were the first to greet me at the door.  I then asked them where Kai was and all at once they replied that he was in his room.  I knocked first and then entered.  Kai was awake but I could tell there was something wrong.  I went over and sat on his bed.

"Hey, you okay?" I asked.

"I'm fine.  It's just a little cold that's all," he replied.

"Do you need anything?  Medicine, an ice pack-"

"No.  It'll pass, I just need to regain my strength.  Can you get me some tea at least?"

"Sure.  I'll be right back.

After getting Kai's tea, I walked back into his room and he was sitting up- he seemed to be doing better within those few minutes.  It was then that I saw the bandage, all ready drenched with fluid  on his left arm.

"Kai, what's going on?"

He shook his head almost as if he was afraid to tell me.  After a few seconds he began,

"You know that cigarette mark I had on my arm?"

"Yeah, you said you got it from a friend who wasn't cool with you not smoking."

He nodded, "Well something strange is happening.  Cove, I think my Promicin ability has finally begun to show itself."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah.  I mean I always knew I had an ability but for some odd reason it was dormant.  It started right after you left on your retreat.  I saw this blue syrum which I thought was paint since I was doing that painting over there-" He pointed to a painting on his desk that showed a blue skyline.

"It wasn't the paint though was it?"

"No.  That evening I took the dogs out for a walk to one of the nearby parks.  There was a homeless guy just minding his own business except his left arm was amputated.  Somehow we bumped into each other and his stump rubbed against my left arm.  I didn't think anything of it because people bump into each other all the time.  The next evening I went out to the same park to take the dogs on their walk and I saw the same man but he was different."

"How different?"

"There wasn't a stump- he had his whole arm back.  It was weird.  I thought that maybe he had just gotten a prostetic but that wasn't it.  There was this young guy playing football and he didn't have his right hand.  He wasn't watching where he was going and he bumped into my left arm.  This morning I go out to the park to check on a huntch and I see the same guy with his right hand full and intact."

"Kai, this is amazing."

"I suppose.  I did some lab tests on the syrum when I got home and there are strange chemical traces in them.  It's cool and everything I guess but I can't shut it off.  I tried creating some kind of stopper but the pressure was too much.  I tried to seal it up with tap but that didn't work and now these sport bandages aren't working."

"It's okay we'll think of something."

"I hope so."

"Here, let me help you with getting a new gauze pad on."

"Thanks."

"I'm glad you told me."

"I promised you that there would be no more secrets between us and I meant it."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

So Kai has the ability to heal amputees.  That is such an amazing ability and considering all of the amputees there are in the world, I am sure that once he is able to control it, he will be able to do so much good in this world.

With all of the 4400 and Promicin takers out there who are wanting to do a good thing in this world, it makes me wonder why they hate us so much. 

Current Mood: happy

Current Mood: satisfied

I am really lucky that this secluded place I am staying at has power lines for internet access for my laptop and service for my cell phone.

I got an urgent call from Kai around 10 a.m. this morning.  He told me that a package arrived for me yesterday afternoon in the mail.  I told him that I trusted him enough to open in and so he did.  It was a letter from the National Threat Assessment Command.  

As Kai read the letter to me, I could not believe what I heard!  He read it again a second time and then once more.  NTAC accepted me into their division.  I have been stunned all day.  There was a part of me that just feared that it might not be true or that it was some kind of scam.  But no, it's real.  I am an official NTAC Agent.

As grateful as I am for this, I know that at the same time my life has just gotten a lot more difficult.  I will not only have to uphold my beliefs and truths to the 4400 and Promicin + but I will have to also uphold that which is required of me from the government.  Am I ready for this?  I must be otherwise I wouldn't be here right?

I really hope I can do a good job at NTAC but at the same time I hope that this job will not blind me from the mission that brought me to this point.  I stand behind the 4400 and the Promicin takers 100% but now it seems that I'm going to have to dig for another 100% so that way I can balance both my mission and my job.

I do look forward to starting my new position and I hope that I can do both sides justice.

Current Mood: nervous

Entry 9

In this past time, I have mentioned my ability but I have not fully discussed it.  It has just always something that has been there since I developed after taking Promicin.  I have not been using it as much as I should so I have not been able to have the practice in controlling it.  

I am still having to wear the black Anakin Skywalker glove on my hand because the part of my ability that stems from my hands has not been in full control.  I've been able to control the thoughts from the animals but sometimes controlling thoughts from human mammals is a whole other story.

Now that I am settled for a while and have a lot of spare time on my hands I thought it would be best if I were to take control of my ability instead of having it take control of me (we all know the damage it can cause of that happens).

I woke up at 2 a.m. this morning and began packing a backpack with the things I would need ( I was done around 3); leaving a note for Kai the moment I left since he was still asleep in his own room.  And then I made my way down the marina.  I'm really glad that my dad's boat was still there (he had bought one the moment he was returned since it would be a month since he would actually return home)  and thankfully I had brought the keys with me.

I took the boat out to open waters in hopes of finding some sea life.  Thankfully at three in the morning there weren't any boats out in the water.  It was pure silence and darkness, the kind of meditative spot I felt I needed.  It was then that I stopped the boat and anchored it, and got in the small raft that was tied to the boat.  I sat in the boat and gently closed my eyes- trying to concentrate on all that was around me: the birds in the distance, the sound of the waves and then I tried to tune in deeper.  It took me about 15 minutes to finally find the sound I was looking for.  

I got out of the raft as quickly and quietly as possible and went to go turn on the speakers in the boat.  I raised the volume to a good enough sound to where it wouldn't disturb anything.  And then there it was:  The sound of the orca whales.  I went back into the raft and closed my eyes again, as they got closer I could hear not only their squeeks but their thoughts as well.  They were all around me and I could feel their presence.  From the thoughts I gathered from them, they were thinking things like: 

'She's a special one' and 'We like her'.  They were even thinking of ordinary things like when they would find their next meal and when the next calves would be born and how many boats would see them in the day time when people went out on the whale watching tours.

I was able to open my eyes and still hear their thoughts.  Then the most amazing thing happened.  One of the young orcas popped his head up right next to my raft.  It was still dark out but I could see them as clearly as I could in the day time.  (I have no explaination for that but I'll learn from it).  Nervously I took off my glove and then I was able to picture a large salmon.  The young orca bobbed his head anxiously awaiting the snack and so I feed it to him and he went under.  Another orca, an older female popped up and in my mind I was able to picture another salmon and it appeared in my hand.  I tried it a third time except that it didn't work (I think because I was trying to go so fast so it stalled.)  I was able to tell the orcas that it wasn't working anymore and they nodded and told me they understood.  They told me that just like a young calf has to learn to hunt on their own, I too have to learn how to hunt on my own.  What they meant by that was you can be shown how to do something but it's up for you to practice and get the hang of it.

I stayed with the orcas until dawn and then they told me they had to go.  I told them that I hoped to see them again and their response was that I would get the chance.

After they left, I put my glove back on and got out from the raft and started pulling up the anchor from the boat.  I then made my way to an island surrounded by tons of trees.  Maybe I will find some animals along the way since the forest is perfect for wildlife.  It's my plan to stay on this island for a couple of days so that way I can learn to harness my ability.  Afterall I would not want some kind of food (weather it be fish or vegetable) to appear in my hand while I'm on the job at NTAC.  And I don't think they will want me to wear my glove so it's my goal to get a handle on the ability before I start my new line of work.

Overall, I would have to say that it's been a very satisfying morning and we'll see how the rest of the day goes!

Current Mood: ecstatic

I like what I do.  I'm satisfied with it.  And while I don't get paid for what I do, it's a joy nontheless.  Even if I did get paid for what I do I would not take the money.  I love the job regardless that it does not pay.  What I get from it is worth more than money.  And I like it that way

I have been helping Promicin takers here and there but there was this one special case which was very rewarding.  These friends of mine were going through some trouble at home and I did everything in my power to help them.  I managed to get them squared away in a good place (the location of said place will not be disclosed for safety reasons.)  

I have been in contact with this person through various ways of communication.  What I can say is that these friends seem to be fairly happy with their new arrangements and I only wish the best for them.  They will continue on with their mission in life just as I will continue on with mine.

This was the kind of work I had sent out to do since the beginning, or rather since the death of my family.  I know that they would be proud of what I did for these people.  And the fact that I am pleased and satisfied with the work I accomplished, I know that I can keep doing this for as long as it takes.  

And while I have decided to take the job at NTAC, that job will not stop me from doing the work I've been doing since the start.  If NTAC cannot accept it, then I will simply quit.  If anything, I now plan to spread the good news about the Promicin takers through the various NTAC channels.

My work on helping out the 4400 and the Promicin takers is far from complete.  I have a job at NTAC, okay, but my real job is that of the 4400 and the Promicin takers- that comes first before anything else.

*My friend, you know who you are: I was honored to help you out.  It gave me the most incredible feeling.  A feeling that I thought I had lost along my journey since I was surrounded by so much negativity.  Thank you for restoring the candle within me that had almost burned out.  Now whenever struggles arise and the flame starts to go down, I will remind myself of the service I provided you and that flame will be re-lit.  Good luck out there.*

Current Mood: rejuvenated

This article was printed today in our local newspaper.  It is the first casualty that has actually hit home for me other than the death of my parents.  Ave Rollins and I went to high school together.  Of all people, I had hoped that she would not be the one to take Promicin.  I just did not want her to take that risk- but then again, I have no control over how a person lives.  It's a very sad thing.  And I will mourn her loss but at the same time I will keep her memory alive in the work that I do.  
What saddens me most about the article is how the media is portraying Promicin like it's as bad thing.  There is so much negativity in it that because of it, my strength grows more into wanting to do everything in my power to continue helping the 4400 and the Promicin takers.  I will not fail and I will continue on.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Rollins: Victim of Promicin

                                                       
 Ave Rollin's, a local in a small town in southwest Texas, died yesterday, June 6, 2007. The cause: Promicin.

 

 Since the distribution of Promicin lead by cult leader, Jordan Collier, life seems to have gotten worse instead of better. Promicin is what gives the 4400 their abilities and now unfortunately the serum has reached nations world wide. The cost: There is a 50/50 chance of developing some kind of ability or dying within forty eight hours. As a result people have been dying left and right.

 

Ave Rollins is no exception. “I don’t understand,” said her mother. “Her life was so full; I don’t understand why my baby would take such an awful thing.” According to some of Rollin’s friends, they held onto the belief that she wanted an escape from her family. Her friend, Karen Giles was quoted by stating, “Her family held a tight leash. She was never allowed to go out with her friends much.” Another friend was quoted by saying, “She hated her family.  They smashed her dreams of going off to college. She didn’t care about the risks. She just wanted a way out.”

 

And so, that’s what Promicin seems to have become: an exit strategy for those who feel they have nothing to loose. Are we to trust what Jordan Collier says is right in healing the future? Or are we too look upon the evidence at hand and flat out say that Promicin is not a healing hand but rather a terror of destruction?

 

An online journal was found by Ave Rollins. In her last entry she wrote:

- People risk their lives daily: Some by running into fires, the military on the front lines. My life is okay but just once I would like to know how it feels to take a risk. Promicin has given me that opportunity. Am I afraid of death- no. Death is natural and so I am ready for it. If I get an ability it will be even greater but no one knows when the odds are 50/50.

 

I myself have seen the syringes, I have seen up close and personal what Promicin looks like and I have tempted to take it myself but logic and fear is what always stops me. I will not be one of those who will jump and take that 50/50 risk. I have so much going for me, a great home and a great family that I am not one to throw it all away in an instant.

 

Ave Rollins death marks the twentieth death in this city that has resulted from Promicin. It’s evident that she will not be the last. People have gone from being skeptical to curious and so they put themselves at the very edge of deaths’ door. It has become an escape for some- their only chance at salvation. Yes there are some cases in which people develop abilities but the odds of death from an injection seem much higher than that of gaining some ability. In the end we all have a choice: And that’s the scary part.

- Erika M. Johnson

 (Ave Rollins trademark)

Current Mood: sad

" It's only human
  To want to keep the world safe
  To look into the future and save someone you love
  To want to heal people's pain
  It's only human
  To want to change the world
  To want want to be extraordinary
  Extraordinary
  To be extraordinary
  It's only human to want to be extraordinary"

That seems to be the new and upcoming message to the world.  The human is a very strange concept.  We have wishes and dreams, we have fears and pains.  As human we all want to be different than the rest.  We want that one thing that makes us stand out.  We don't want to be those hundreds of gold fish stuck in a pond and you can't tell one from the other.

Promicin has given us that wish, or has it?  With each new idea, each new fad, you still have so many people following it.  Sure the abilities are different and some closely resemble each other but so many people still continue to follow the same movement.
 
We've seen the movies, we've read the comic books- we all want to be like our heroes.  Whether it be Superman, Batman, Spider-man, X-men, The Green Arrow, Wonder Woman or all the other countless superheroes.  We all crave to some day be a super-hero.

Promicin has become a gift to mankind but that does not mean we should abuse it.  It's not some candy that you can put in your mouth and then take it out if you don't like it.  Once Promicin is injected, there is no taking it back out.  

In a sense, it's like going to the hospital: you can go in expecting to get better or instead of getting better you come out worse than when you went in (a nosocomial infection as they call it.)

I used to always dream of having a super power ever since I was a kid.  Superman was my ultimate hero- bullets bounce off his chest, he can fly, he can run really fast, and he's an alien (how cool is that?!)  When my father returned, the dreams of wanting a super power disappeared.  I began to understand the responsibility my father faced with his ability.  I knew the risks he was taking every day just by stepping out the front door.  I began to understand that this whole mission wasn't about wanting to be extraordinary, it was much deeper and it went further than  that.

Promicin and the ability that comes with it takes so much responsibility and strength to handle.  You put yourself at an even greater risk than before when you were just an ordinary human.  You have to be ready to step up to the plate and play your game right otherwise if you aren't smart about it, you loose just like in anything else: if you don't study, you won't pass.  If you don't practice, you won't do good at the next game.  If you're not responsible with your ability then you could put not only yourself but everyone else at risk.

Promicin can be a good thing and I encourage people to take it *but* only if you are ready to handle the responsibility of it (the risks and the consequences and the intellegence)

Current Mood: determined

Night Walk

We have made another stop. We've been making quite a few stops lately as there have been a lot of Promicin takers that need our help. We don't mind it though since this is what we were called out to do.

Once we stopped, I took Sai for a much needed walk along the Pier while Evan and Kai stayed behind. It's been 3 days and still he (Kai) has not said a word to me. He hasn't since he found out about the whole NTAC job I was offered.

I was off in the distance but I could clearly hear Evan and Kai talking. (Guy voices can be very loud even when it's unintentional). I really tried hard to ignore the conversation but it was kind of hard not to.

"Go talk to her," Evan said to Kai.

"Why should I? She lied to me about not telling me about the job offer."

"Would you have listened to her if she had?"

Kai stayed quiet for a moment so Evan continued, "Look man, whatever hang-ups you have with NTAC or the rest of the government, you better get over them and fast. If you don't, then you could possibly loose the best thing you've ever had."

"And how would you know that?" Kai asked him.

"I've known Cove my entire life and there's no one else like her. I see the way you look at at her and I know you know that too. All her life, Cove has been one to follow her instincts and if she feels that taking the job at NTAC is what she needs to do then she will do it, even if it means getting your disapproval. And if you can't accept that then you've lost her all ready. And by the look in your eyes I know that's the last thing you want."

"This isn't fair," Kai replied.

"Dude, it isn't suppose to be fair. You gave up your life to be with her and you're a corageous dude for doing that and I know you're probably thinking it's only fair that she should give up the NTAC job for you but it doesn't work like that way. She was supportive of you that you decided to come along even if it meant giving up your family-"

"Hey, she was the one who suggested it."

"Maybe so but you could have said 'no' and turned her down but in the end you didn't. Now you need to be supportive of her no matter what decision she makes."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Later on in the evening, Kai walked over to me and Sai.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

I looked at him skeptically. "Please," he pleaded. "Just without Sai. Maybe we could go for a walk, there's some place I want to show you."

I nodded and then told Sai to go with Evan and to look after the other dogs and the snake. Sai did as he was told.

We walked a few blocks until we came across a well kept cemetary. In that time neither one of us said a word. I just followed Kai to where ever it was he was leading. It was then we made a stop at a headstone. It read: Seth Rainer, Time Flies & Spirits Never Die, Sept.3 1980/1987- Aug.27 2006

I looked at Kai and simply said, "Your brother?"

Kai looked away from me, "Yeah. Seth was one of the 4400. I was nine when he disappeared, he was seventeen. Who would have guessed that seven years later he would back and the only age difference between us was a year instead of seven."

"Why did you bring me here, Kai?"

"Don't say anything just yet, I need to get this all out first. When Seth came back everything seemed to be going okay. It was odd at first like it is with most 4400s who have to adjust to their new life. Although even though my parents were treating Seth like he had never been gone, I could tell that there was something different about him, something that I didn't recognize. It was like he was drawing himself away from us on a more spiritual and mental level. Then about two years later he got this call. Someone had contacted him about joining the Nova Group. He snuck out of the house at night. My dad questioned him about it the next day- Seth got really angry. He said that his loyalties were no longer to the family since he hadn't been apart of the family for seven years, he said his loyalties now belonged to the 4400 and that he had friends and family who he could actually count on. When the Nova Group was finally outed to the public, that's when my dad quit working with Ryland. He knew that Ryland thought the 4400 needed to be exterminated and if he found out that his son was apart of Nova then it would all end badly for him."

"What happened after that?"

"Well once Nova was outed, NTAC started rounding up members of the group.'

I nodded my head accordingly. I remembered reading internet and newspaper articles about that happening.

"Anyways," Kai said. "Instead of locking my brother up, they had him work for them instead. It was either work with them or be handed over to the NSA who in turn would use any means possible to get the information they needed. On occasion I would get these letters from Seth telling me how much he despised working with NTAC. He felt that he was betraying the 4400 and he became disgusted with himself. In his last letter, he said he would rather be dead then have to feed more information to NTAC and get that information from other 4400s. He ended up with his wish. They found his body in the interrogating cell the next morning. Seth had gotten a 4400 to do the dirty work since he couldn't do it himself. NTAC never found the 4400 responsible for it."

It was then that I put my hand on his arm. "Kai, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to say anything. We all carry secrets, Cove. I just thought it was time for you to know the truth. I wanted you to know the truth as to why I despise NTAC and the government so much. If you want to take the job then go for it, I can learn to handle it. What I won't be able to handle is if I loose you. I have never known anyone like you or had anyone like you in my life. I find myself thinking about what my life would be like if I lost you and it's just something I don't want to even think about."

"Kai, I promise, you won't loose me. I'm yours for as long as it takes. I do appreciate you telling me this because now I understand how I can make things better. I promise you that no matter what happens, I will do everything in my power not to let the same thing happen that happened to your brother. I can find a way to prevent it. Let's just see how things go for a while before I make that big decision though, all right?"

Kai nodded and the two of us started back to the trailer hand in hand.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I am really touched and grateful and proud that Kai told me the truth. I know how hard it was for him to do so since it's clear he does not like to talk much about his brother or the true reason his father quit his job. I feel very blessed that Kai was finally able to open up to me. I don't know how these boyfriend/girlfriend things are supposed to work since Kai is the first boyfriend I've ever had but maybe if we continue to talk like this, then just maybe we will be able to make things work out between the two of us.

As for the job at NTAC, that is still being decided but now I have Kai's true point of view to take into consideration as well as my own instincts. My instincts are telling me to take the job but we shall see, I still have a couple more days to make my decision. Yes, I know I said the offer was still on the table and would never leave but I am giving myself a two day time limit since we will be crossing into Washington pretty soon.

Current Mood: content