r2roswell - Reason Behind the Fear

Night Walk

We have made another stop. We've been making quite a few stops lately as there have been a lot of Promicin takers that need our help. We don't mind it though since this is what we were called out to do.

Once we stopped, I took Sai for a much needed walk along the Pier while Evan and Kai stayed behind. It's been 3 days and still he (Kai) has not said a word to me. He hasn't since he found out about the whole NTAC job I was offered.

I was off in the distance but I could clearly hear Evan and Kai talking. (Guy voices can be very loud even when it's unintentional). I really tried hard to ignore the conversation but it was kind of hard not to.

"Go talk to her," Evan said to Kai.

"Why should I? She lied to me about not telling me about the job offer."

"Would you have listened to her if she had?"

Kai stayed quiet for a moment so Evan continued, "Look man, whatever hang-ups you have with NTAC or the rest of the government, you better get over them and fast. If you don't, then you could possibly loose the best thing you've ever had."

"And how would you know that?" Kai asked him.

"I've known Cove my entire life and there's no one else like her. I see the way you look at at her and I know you know that too. All her life, Cove has been one to follow her instincts and if she feels that taking the job at NTAC is what she needs to do then she will do it, even if it means getting your disapproval. And if you can't accept that then you've lost her all ready. And by the look in your eyes I know that's the last thing you want."

"This isn't fair," Kai replied.

"Dude, it isn't suppose to be fair. You gave up your life to be with her and you're a corageous dude for doing that and I know you're probably thinking it's only fair that she should give up the NTAC job for you but it doesn't work like that way. She was supportive of you that you decided to come along even if it meant giving up your family-"

"Hey, she was the one who suggested it."

"Maybe so but you could have said 'no' and turned her down but in the end you didn't. Now you need to be supportive of her no matter what decision she makes."
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Later on in the evening, Kai walked over to me and Sai.

"Can we talk?" he asked.

I looked at him skeptically. "Please," he pleaded. "Just without Sai. Maybe we could go for a walk, there's some place I want to show you."

I nodded and then told Sai to go with Evan and to look after the other dogs and the snake. Sai did as he was told.

We walked a few blocks until we came across a well kept cemetary. In that time neither one of us said a word. I just followed Kai to where ever it was he was leading. It was then we made a stop at a headstone. It read: Seth Rainer, Time Flies & Spirits Never Die, Sept.3 1980/1987- Aug.27 2006

I looked at Kai and simply said, "Your brother?"

Kai looked away from me, "Yeah. Seth was one of the 4400. I was nine when he disappeared, he was seventeen. Who would have guessed that seven years later he would back and the only age difference between us was a year instead of seven."

"Why did you bring me here, Kai?"

"Don't say anything just yet, I need to get this all out first. When Seth came back everything seemed to be going okay. It was odd at first like it is with most 4400s who have to adjust to their new life. Although even though my parents were treating Seth like he had never been gone, I could tell that there was something different about him, something that I didn't recognize. It was like he was drawing himself away from us on a more spiritual and mental level. Then about two years later he got this call. Someone had contacted him about joining the Nova Group. He snuck out of the house at night. My dad questioned him about it the next day- Seth got really angry. He said that his loyalties were no longer to the family since he hadn't been apart of the family for seven years, he said his loyalties now belonged to the 4400 and that he had friends and family who he could actually count on. When the Nova Group was finally outed to the public, that's when my dad quit working with Ryland. He knew that Ryland thought the 4400 needed to be exterminated and if he found out that his son was apart of Nova then it would all end badly for him."

"What happened after that?"

"Well once Nova was outed, NTAC started rounding up members of the group.'

I nodded my head accordingly. I remembered reading internet and newspaper articles about that happening.

"Anyways," Kai said. "Instead of locking my brother up, they had him work for them instead. It was either work with them or be handed over to the NSA who in turn would use any means possible to get the information they needed. On occasion I would get these letters from Seth telling me how much he despised working with NTAC. He felt that he was betraying the 4400 and he became disgusted with himself. In his last letter, he said he would rather be dead then have to feed more information to NTAC and get that information from other 4400s. He ended up with his wish. They found his body in the interrogating cell the next morning. Seth had gotten a 4400 to do the dirty work since he couldn't do it himself. NTAC never found the 4400 responsible for it."

It was then that I put my hand on his arm. "Kai, I don't know what to say. I'm so sorry."

"You don't have to say anything. We all carry secrets, Cove. I just thought it was time for you to know the truth. I wanted you to know the truth as to why I despise NTAC and the government so much. If you want to take the job then go for it, I can learn to handle it. What I won't be able to handle is if I loose you. I have never known anyone like you or had anyone like you in my life. I find myself thinking about what my life would be like if I lost you and it's just something I don't want to even think about."

"Kai, I promise, you won't loose me. I'm yours for as long as it takes. I do appreciate you telling me this because now I understand how I can make things better. I promise you that no matter what happens, I will do everything in my power not to let the same thing happen that happened to your brother. I can find a way to prevent it. Let's just see how things go for a while before I make that big decision though, all right?"

Kai nodded and the two of us started back to the trailer hand in hand.

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I am really touched and grateful and proud that Kai told me the truth. I know how hard it was for him to do so since it's clear he does not like to talk much about his brother or the true reason his father quit his job. I feel very blessed that Kai was finally able to open up to me. I don't know how these boyfriend/girlfriend things are supposed to work since Kai is the first boyfriend I've ever had but maybe if we continue to talk like this, then just maybe we will be able to make things work out between the two of us.

As for the job at NTAC, that is still being decided but now I have Kai's true point of view to take into consideration as well as my own instincts. My instincts are telling me to take the job but we shall see, I still have a couple more days to make my decision. Yes, I know I said the offer was still on the table and would never leave but I am giving myself a two day time limit since we will be crossing into Washington pretty soon.

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